Pier Pressure

By Mark McGuigan
Staff Writer

Sept. 22 -- The flags flutter in the sea breeze and the bunting welcomes the pilots, their crew and their magnificent flying machines. They’re gathered on Santa Monica Pier Saturday to make aviation history, but this is not so much about the art of flying as about the art of plummeting as gracefully as possible off a thirty-foot pier. Welcome to Red Bull Flugtag, possibly the craziest flying competition on the planet.

Flugtag (pronounced FLOOG-TOG, German for “flying day”) was dreamed up by company founder Dietrich Mateschitz as a celebration of the human spirit and no doubt as a way of shifting gallons of the hugely popular Red Bull energy drink, whose tagline is “Red Bull gives you wings.”

And anywhere people are willing to hurl themselves into the void in search of glory, crowds will gather. By noon on Saturday, Santa Monica beach was buzzing with 50,000 people ready to see some aerial mayhem from the assembled 35 teams.

Pictures by Mark McGuigan

The event, which will rotate between states in the US each year, is the first of its kind in Santa Monica as well as a first for Flugtag organizers.

“This is the first time we’ve done it in the ocean,” said Jessica Mandoki, a communications specialist with Red Bull. “We’ve never done it before in open water -- in the history of Flugtag, this is the first time.”

The rules for the event are simple. The flying machine must be human powered (a pilot fueled with copious quantities of the energy drink Red Bull is allowed), must be less than 30-feet wide, weigh no more than 450 pounds and all pilots must be 18 years or older. Being on the wrong side of sane also helps a little.

To win, all the pilot has to do is drive their contraption down the purpose-built 25-foot runway on the North side of the pier, glide through the air with the greatest of ease and as far as possible, hit the water and wait for glory to descend upon them.

The teams of up to six people are judged on three criteria -- distance, creativity and showmanship. The prize, besides bragging rights at the local bar, is a pilot’s training course or cash equivalent of $7,500.

“You wouldn’t be alive if you weren’t (nervous) once you see that drop,” said Billy Dang a (wait for it) Flight Instructor from Long Beach dressed as an angel and surrounded by his fellow flight instructors dressed as devils from the ‘Ticket to Heaven’ team. “I’ve had a couple of looks but I don’t want to look anymore.”

If nerves did fail, former child-star and host for the day Danny Bonaduce was on hand to coerce, goad and encourage competitors as required, even going so far as to jump off the pier himself to get the girls from the restaurant chain Hooters into the water.

The designs for the flying machines are as varied as the grace, ambition and sanity levels of those who pilot them. Sitting in the parking lot of the pier on this particular Saturday morning are creations from the deepest, strangest recesses of the human imagination, ranging from lunatic to the sublime.

On the pier sits a giant pram complete with baby -- a very fully-grown Jane Rudenko on a one-year visa from Estonia -- a chunk of bright yellow California cheese, a bar saloon from the old West, a bright blue, eight-wheeled flying monkey and even a flying squirrel.

“I saw a picture of it on the Internet and I thought that’s perfect,” said squirrel pilot Phil Kono, a network engineer dressed as a Mexican wrestler riding a bike cleverly disguised as the flying rodent. “It doesn’t fly, it just jumps out and glides and that’s my inspiration.”

Such noble ambitions were lost on some however. “These aren’t fliers, these are swimmers,” said one spectator looking at an entry entitled “Du Du Bot,” a portable toilet that converted into a… well, into a winged portable toilet.

“We will transform an ordinary, 21st century outhouse in a hygienic, warp-speed traveling, hypersonic, fecal fighting machine,” the Du Du Bot press release informs people.

Nearby, Eric Leverton, a high school football coach from Pasadena dressed as a giant soccer ball, stands talking to spectators as part of team “Gooooal!” Their plan for Flugtag glory isn’t too sophisticated.

A giant plywood soccer boot is bolted to a steel structure that allows the boot to swing freely. Eric is the ball. The boot remains on the runway and Eric is launched into space with a good, swift kick on the derriere.

“I’ve done many things in life,” Eric explains of his reasons for being booted off the pier. “I’ve done sky-diving, done bungee-jumping, done river rafting, done all the crazy things you can do in life, and jumping off a pier dressed as a soccer ball and getting kicked in the ass just hasn’t been on that list yet,” he says. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of deal.”

This is the reason most competitors give for taking part on the day. They are of the belief that they are part of a grander scheme. This isn’t just about flying. Flugtag is a celebration of the pioneer spirit, it’s about courage, adventure and fun. All common sense and ego are checked in at the gates prior to takeoff.

“It just takes a passion about life,” explains Mandoki. “And Red Bull does give you wings.”

Most of the competitors were hoping it would -- machines are largely comprised of a mixture of plywood, papier-mâché, chicken wire and good old reliable duct tape. For others, these components simply weren’t enough.

For the Red Bull Slugger, a 22-foot long baseball bat, materials used include “hair of a wooly mammoth, human blood, sweat and tears and lots of beer” according to the sign posted next to it.

Team Catalina Air, used “space age” materials in their model of a 15-foot long flying fish. They don’t say what they are, but perhaps NASA had a hand in mixing the papier-mâché? One of the things not listed on this recipe board for aviation is time spent building the entry. The ‘When Pigs Fly’ team built a pink, concept plane resembling a rather irked pig complete with wing-mounted machine guns and a cockpit, that took an incredible 400 man-hours to build. On the other end of the scale, the team from Portland and their ten-foot egg tray entitled Genetically Fowled Up, took a mere two hours to construct.

“We couldn’t have a huge craft because we came all the way down from Portland,” explains Eddie Kwon dressed as a chicken. “We’re all college students, and we don’t have a lot of money, so we came down here and built it on the pier in about two hours.”

But despite some dubious aerodynamics and a complete lack of fundamental flight accoutrements such as engines or landing gear, the laws of physics do guarantee one thing -- all competitors will fly at least 30 feet, straight down into the waiting Pacific.

One hour before take-off, Keith Markland, a sporting goods salesman from Las Vegas, lets out a “Yee-haw!” Southern-style to passersby. His bleached blonde afro-wig, fawn-colored shirt and denim jeans complete with Confederate flag belt-buckle, make his alter ego Bo Duke kind of hard to contain.

Behind him sits the “General Lee,” a five-eighth plywood replica of the famous hemmy-orange Dodge Charger from the seventies TV show “The Dukes of Hazard.”

“They (Bo and Luke Duke) jumped and they were in the air for two minutes while they cut to commercials and then they landed,” explains Keith/Bo of the TV brothers who jumped their car over an assortment of wrecked bridges every week while being pursued by incompetent law enforcement officials. “So if we can be in the air for two minutes -- perfect.”

In the end Keith/Bo didn’t hang in the air for two minutes. The good ol’ General Lee slammed into the Pacific and destructed on impact eight feet from the pier and Keith was joined in the water by the rest of his team Luke, Daisy, Boss Hog, Uncle Jesse and Cotter. An elated team ‘Yee-Haw’ wave to the cheering crowd as they were plucked from the water by local lifeguards, the remains of the car were dragged to shore.

And that was the pattern all day. The blueprint for survival went a little something like this: suppress all terror, drive the contraption down the runway, close eyes, plummet like a stone straight down into the Pacific, hit the water hard, watch 80-hours of handiwork disintegrate in less than 5 seconds, get plucked from the water like a gasping fish and return to dry-land for a warm towel and a heroes welcome.

It may not be an official sport, but it’s how every sport should be -- equals competing in the spirit of competition. As competitor after competitor flew face first into the drink, the crowd on shore went mad. No one seemed to care who won, just as things should be.

But just in case you’re concerned with such things, first place went to “When Pigs Fly,” which clocked an amazing distance of 22 feet. West Coast Flying Monkeys took second, and third place fell to The Marine Team with their Red Bull Marine. Red Bull Sluggers won for most creative prize. It would seem the mammoth hair paid off.

Flugtag Trivia

• The first Flugtag took place in Vienna, Austria in 1991 and since then the company has never looked back.
• To date there have been 20 similar events around the world from Austin, Texas to Warsaw, Poland.
• Poland holds the record for biggest attendance drawing a staggering 250,000 spectators in 1999.
• Farthest flight took place in Europe and measured 195 feet.
• The US record currently stands at 70 feet and was set in Austin, Texas this year.
• There have been six Flugtags in the US so far, and future events will be held in New York and Miami.
• People get very wet.

For more information on Flugtag, visit the Red Bull Flugtag website