Homeless for the Holidays

By Les Jones

The holidays are a time for gatherings of family and friends. It is a time of sharing, food, and football. But if you are on the streets, the holidays are, at worst, a time of guilt and loneliness, and at best, a holiday “photo-op” for the local paper’s annual “feeding-the-needy” article.

The feelings of guilt are ever-pressing. They spur on feelings of inadequacy and shame -- shame for not being productive or “good enough” to figure out what is wrong. In the battle for worth in our lives, loneliness is ever-present. In the battle for our hearts and minds, we feel like the loser.

But we walk forward, pushing through the fog to make sense of this season, to find our part in this time of giving when we feel so inadequate for the task.

We have spent time with our families, sitting in the corner, hearing the murmurs and the whispers. We also see the looks. We must endure those who minimize their own struggles, using us as an example of how good they have it.

We stand in the lines for a bit of turkey, a drink, and a smile, hoping no one sees us or feels our pain, our hurt, our sorrow. The food is good; the smiles are wonderful. But the pain is strong.

We sit, listening. . . so faint the voice of hope. We sit and wonder and argue with our heart and soul. And we sit. . . quietly.